'He's jealous of me': Boss wife bullies her own husband at work and tells their coworkers his secrets, wonders if she's the bad guy

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for joking about my husband in front of our work colleagues after he refused to socialize? About a month ago, I (F38) was promoted to a higher position at my job. I am now in a more senior position than my husband (M41) at work. My husband has always told me how happy he was that I got the promotion. But sometimes I get the feeling that he's embarrassed that I'm technically his superior now.
  • 02
    Font - Last night, we had a work-related social event. It was supposed to be an opportunity to build team cohesion and that sort of thing. My husband didn't really want to go (he's pretty introverted), he also said he had a migraine and didn't want to make it worse. I told him that it would be weird if he didn't come, and people might think that he's jealous of me getting the promotion. After some more persuasion, I was able to convince him to come along. When we got there, he greeted a few peop
  • 03
    Font - Aside from that, the event was pretty good, and most of our co-workers were present. At some point, I was in a large group when (Sarah F46), who had not yet seen my husband there, asked where he was and jokingly asked if he was as serious and mysterious at home as he was at work.
  • 04
    Font - I told them he was the complete opposite at home. I said that while at work he seems organized, at home he's a bit of a slob. I joked about how he always leaves his laundry all over the floor and I mentioned things like how he complains too much about random trivial things like the neighbors' kids sometimes playing on our lawn.
  • 05
    Font - I also mentioned how he has a fear of heights and how he was shaking the entire time when we crossed a rope bridge during our honeymoon. I did say a few other things like how I sometimes feel like I'm his parent. Everyone was interested and surprised to hear all of this, and we did share many laughs together. At some point, my husband walked into the conversation and quickly pieced together what we were talking about. The rest of the conversation was awkward after that.
  • 06
    Font - On the drive home, my husband was not speaking. When I asked him if everything was alright, he said that I surprised him. I was annoyed by him being vague, so I told him that I knew that he wasn't feeling 100%, but that he was acting childish for not socializing and acting offended. He said that it was childish and that I was sharing his personal details with our colleagues. I then told him that he was blowing things out of proportion, but he didn't respond, and the rest of the ride was s
  • 07
    Font - When we got home, we argued again about the night's events. My husband said my behavior was appalling and that he questioned if I had any respect for him. I was angry by his outburst so I told him that he was only being sensitive because I was technically his superior now and that what was really bothering him. The argument ended there, as my husband didn't want to "waste any more time" and went to bed. This morning, I texted my younger sister what happened, and she accused me of being in
  • 08
    Font - morgaine125 Dear lord, YTA. It's bad enough that you mocked him and shared personal information about him to your work colleagues, but even worse that you mocked and shared personal information about him to *his * work colleagues. And you mocked and ridiculed one of your subordinates. Your behavior was completely unprofessional and disrespectful toward your marriage. 15.1k Share
  • 09
    Font - Dry_Sandwich_860 Seriously? You're senior enough to have been promoted, but you don't understand the basics of professional behavior? Of course YTA. To be frank, the vibe I get is that maybe you shouldn't have been promoted. You don't sound mature enough to understand or supervise people. I ,hope I'm wrong but I foresee a lot of drama in your team. If it turns out that you're not up to the responsibility, then you could get a bad reputation and find it hard to move on to another position.
  • 10
    Font - It was completely fine for your husband to focus on talking to just a few people. He attended the event-- and it's fine and normal that he didn't want to spend his free time at a work event. Do you really not get that people have different styles as far as interacting with others? I feel sorry for the people you're in charge of now.
  • 11
    Font - As for the personal comments, it's hard to know what to say. Are you actually confused about what's appropriate personal information to share about your spouse or are you looking to make excuses after you chose to run your husband down to make yourself look better? Also, it's weird that you keep talking about being his "superior." You mention it over and over--both to us and him. The problem is not him. It's that you're immature and have no idea how to behave or treat people. 4.3k Share
  • 12
    Font - jules79 YTA. You talked so about your husband all night, to his coworkers for fus sake. Do you even like the man? Grow tf up, and apologize, and hope he forgives you 3.2k Share
  • 13
    Font - UMAbyUMA YTA. From your description, I don't see your husband being jealous of you. Instead, it appears that you might harbor a hidden sense of superiority due to your higher position. You might not be willing to admit it, but it seems like you're doing your best to subtly belittle him in various situations and in front of others to highlight your own status. 42.4k Share
  • 14
    Font - v2slasher I am shocked that one whole night's time last night plus your sister's reply this morning failed to make you realise that YTA big time. Your colleagues are curious about your husband? Sure, tell them about his hobbies, his work, where he comes from, etc. That would be enough. Fear of heights, being a slob at home etc. is way beyond what your colleagues need to know. Imagine your husband telling his colleagues, "Oh my wife is a binge snack eater at home and she is afraid of spide
  • 15
    Font - Alarming_Reply_6286 Wow! You're not a very good partner nor manager. This was a huge betrayal & very unprofessional. I say this as a 54 yo woman, business owner & married for 32 years. You're on a weird power trip & ... YTA edit 1.1k Share
  • 16
    Font - StressSoggy3572 YTA for putting what others will think say over how your husband felt and bullied him into going to an event he didn't want to go. YTA for what you have talked about your husband in a workplace! you literally only talked s about him. doesn't matter if its true that was a place of work and what happens at home doesn't have room in a workplace! if you are not happy with your husband at home get a divorce don't humiliate him at work! YTA even because after he told you how it
  • 17
    Font - Few-Salamander-7736 YTA! You basically outed yourself this entire post from a) admitting your husband is an introvert and then pointedly sharing embarrassing stories about him to b) actively gaslighting and getting angry with him when it sounds like he was being completely reasonable in his complaints. I recommend therapy. Not couples therapy btw. Jesus OP, seems like you have a lot you need to fix at both work and home with this one. 649 Share ●●●
  • 18
    Font - retriversRock YTA, he's introverted and wasn't feeling well and you bullied him into going anyway "so people wouldn't think he jealous of you". Then you told people he has to work with all about situations that should have been private to just the 2 of you. Sounds like you're the one hung up on being his "superior" in your new position and were looking for ways to put him in his place. You big time TA. 444 Share
  • 19
    Font - FireMoon42. YTA! He went for you even though he didn't want to, and you dragged him through the mud with your colleagues like a bunch of high schoolers? That's horrible. You owe him an apology. 4 205 Share
  • 20
    Font - jay_c95 So, let me get this straight..... Not only did you convince him to go to the work event when he didn't want to and had a migraine, but you also then proceeded to trash talk him to your (and his) coworkers and laughed about his flaws. He is right, your respect for him is non existent. Hard YTA 197 Share

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